"Whether your faith is that there is a God or that there is not a god, if you don't have any doubts you are either kidding yourself or asleep." -Wishful Thinking by Frederick Buechner
I believe that God exists, most of the time. I believe in the God of the Bible, the infinite being whom I cannot fully comprehend, who is worthy of my love, obedience, and worship. But every now and then I have my moments of questioning my own beliefs, not just about the existence of God, still this particular doubt disturbs me the most because no other belief I hold if proven false would throw my life into utter chaos. When questions about God arise in my heart, I feel strangely guilty for doubting someone who has done so much for me. Yet the doubting becomes simultaneously the seeking of God, a hungering and longing to know Him more. I used to wonder if I was really a Christian each time I questioned God. Isn't faith supposed to be an absolute believing? So far the reality of my relationship with God has been a coexistence of faith and doubt, seeking and learning, asking and receiving, believing that God exists because it is much more difficult for me to believe that He doesn't.
I was dutifully watering our patches of lawn and backyard several days ago just letting my mind wander when the question "Why do I believe in God?" came to me. My initial response was, 'Oh no, not again. Why can't I settle this once and for all? Why does it always seem to resurface? Ugh...' Then my thoughts went to all those people who do not believe in God whose lives seem no less difficult or easier than mine. 'Why do we need God?' To be honest with you, at this point I shut down my questions, turned to myself sternly and said, 'Oh Lauren. Just choose to believe. Don't get into all this again. I'm tired.'
One of the anchors in my belief in God is the truths of the Bible. When I read the Bible and it claims a certain truth I was not aware of before I think about it and apply it to what I know about people, life, and the world to see if it has been true. So far this process has affirmed my faith.
I believe that God exists, most of the time. I believe in the God of the Bible, the infinite being whom I cannot fully comprehend, who is worthy of my love, obedience, and worship. But every now and then I have my moments of questioning my own beliefs, not just about the existence of God, still this particular doubt disturbs me the most because no other belief I hold if proven false would throw my life into utter chaos. When questions about God arise in my heart, I feel strangely guilty for doubting someone who has done so much for me. Yet the doubting becomes simultaneously the seeking of God, a hungering and longing to know Him more. I used to wonder if I was really a Christian each time I questioned God. Isn't faith supposed to be an absolute believing? So far the reality of my relationship with God has been a coexistence of faith and doubt, seeking and learning, asking and receiving, believing that God exists because it is much more difficult for me to believe that He doesn't.
I was dutifully watering our patches of lawn and backyard several days ago just letting my mind wander when the question "Why do I believe in God?" came to me. My initial response was, 'Oh no, not again. Why can't I settle this once and for all? Why does it always seem to resurface? Ugh...' Then my thoughts went to all those people who do not believe in God whose lives seem no less difficult or easier than mine. 'Why do we need God?' To be honest with you, at this point I shut down my questions, turned to myself sternly and said, 'Oh Lauren. Just choose to believe. Don't get into all this again. I'm tired.'
One of the anchors in my belief in God is the truths of the Bible. When I read the Bible and it claims a certain truth I was not aware of before I think about it and apply it to what I know about people, life, and the world to see if it has been true. So far this process has affirmed my faith.
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