"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." -Proverbs 29:11
I've been thinking a lot about anger these days, being that I was recently a recipient of anger. I have too much self-respect to allow myself to be treated in such a manner especially when it is undeserved and unjust.
Anger is a reactive emotion and cannot help being felt. However, how you handle anger can be chosen. Most anger seems to me to be a reaction to loss of control - over a person or over a situation or over a thing or any combination of them. This kind of anger seems to be a means of trying to exert ones power by force relying on others to cower so you can have your own way. But it is in reality a loss of power and control (not only over another person or situation or thing, but also of oneself), a display of weakness. Many times anger leads to violence. It is a violent emotion. It can end in emotional and/or physical abuse, especially when anger is directed at the defenseless.
When I was teaching, I encountered many children who were the defenseless recipient of anger. My first memory of receiving anger is also as a child from my Dad. I also remember my response, fear.
As for the friend whose anger I received, it happened a few seconds after I prayed that God would make her more like Jesus. I hope that we will both grow as regenerated persons. A lesson in genuine forgiveness and commitment is just as difficult to learn as a lesson in disciplining anger. As for our friendship, I've entrusted it to God and hope for restoration in due time. I must love her like family to not walk away and receive the wounds - to lose her friendship would be more painful. I even have hope that our friendship will grow deeper because of this painful time.
So what is the opposite of anger? I don't think it is patience. It seems more like humility to me.
I've been thinking a lot about anger these days, being that I was recently a recipient of anger. I have too much self-respect to allow myself to be treated in such a manner especially when it is undeserved and unjust.
Anger is a reactive emotion and cannot help being felt. However, how you handle anger can be chosen. Most anger seems to me to be a reaction to loss of control - over a person or over a situation or over a thing or any combination of them. This kind of anger seems to be a means of trying to exert ones power by force relying on others to cower so you can have your own way. But it is in reality a loss of power and control (not only over another person or situation or thing, but also of oneself), a display of weakness. Many times anger leads to violence. It is a violent emotion. It can end in emotional and/or physical abuse, especially when anger is directed at the defenseless.
When I was teaching, I encountered many children who were the defenseless recipient of anger. My first memory of receiving anger is also as a child from my Dad. I also remember my response, fear.
As for the friend whose anger I received, it happened a few seconds after I prayed that God would make her more like Jesus. I hope that we will both grow as regenerated persons. A lesson in genuine forgiveness and commitment is just as difficult to learn as a lesson in disciplining anger. As for our friendship, I've entrusted it to God and hope for restoration in due time. I must love her like family to not walk away and receive the wounds - to lose her friendship would be more painful. I even have hope that our friendship will grow deeper because of this painful time.
So what is the opposite of anger? I don't think it is patience. It seems more like humility to me.
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