Erik and I went up to Grover Beach to help his sister's family settle in at their new house. Ashley greeted us outside with a huge smile on her face. She was jumping up and down because she was so excited to see us. She was worried that we would get lost because we don't know where they live. Their new home is in a nice, quiet neighborhood with a park in walking distance. The kids have their own rooms now although they didn't make good use of it Saturday night. They prefer to sleep in their parent's room. We went to Pismo Beach for a delicious meal at the Splash Cafe who serve a mean clam chowder. Then Ashley and I went to the park while everyone else unpacked and moved furniture. We ordered Thai food to go for dinner. We were starving after a full days work. Jeff's work is only a little over a mile away from the house now instead of his usual 3 hour drive back and forth before. After a rough night of not sleeping very well due to the kids' crying, it took us awhile to get ready in the morning and head out for brunch at IHOP. It was tough saying bye to them. Hoa cried and Ashley refused to say bye to us. She kept crying and saying that she didn't want us to go. It broke my heart. I hope they will make good friends up there soon.

New Room, New Furniture

We bought our bedroom set this past weekend at the San Gabriel Furniture Store. Yes, it is asian owned and we saved around $1000. It is very modern looking which is the look I like. I had originally wanted the darker wood, but they discontinued it so we ended up getting the lighter beech wood instead. We also upgraded to the eastern king size. Now we just need to get the mattress, duvet cover, bed sheets, and wool comforter. I wonder if watching all that HGTV is helping me at all. I'm having fun for now until we have to pay the bills.

Bleach

I started watching a new Japanese anime, Bleach. I think one of the reasons why enjoy watching anime is because I can relate to some of the characters. The main character, Ichigo, is one who has lost a mother. She passed away when he was a child and he misses her dearly. In episode 9, he is able to hear his mother's death wish. She tells him, "Ichigo, live. Be strong. Be gentle. And smile." I sobbed uncontrollably after watching this episode because it reminded me of my mom's wish for me to live well. It's absurdly comforting to be able to relate to even an anime character.

Bathroom Dialogue With Ashley

"Hi Ashley! What are you doing?"

"Poo-poo. Did you know that if you poo first and then pee, it's poo-pee. And if you pee first and then poo, it's pee-poo."

"So, what did you do?"

"Mmmm...Pee-poo."

Another Year of Big Changes

Last year I went from being single to married which was a big change. I guess I expected everything to settle down for awhile as I got used to this new life stage. However, this new year is bringing about some big changes in the first month.

First, Erik's sister's family is moving out of the house to San Luis Obispo area. The house will be much emptier (because about half of the stuff in our house currently belongs to them if not more) and quieter (because the two kids are moving out with them and we will only have adults in the house). When Ashley first found out that they were moving, she cried, her mom cried, and mom cried. It was very emotional, especially because they will no longer be immediately accessible to us to hangout with. I was touched because Ashley cried and said that she would miss me. I am going to miss her too. I'll also miss seeing Brian grow up everyday. He changes so fast. Our whole family dynamic will change.

Erik and I will also be moving into the soon to be empty bedroom upstairs since it's bigger and we will have a private bathroom. We're looking into buying new bedroom furniture so that we could leave our current one in our room for the guests. Erik's parents are already telling us to hurry up and have kids because the house will be too quiet and boring.

Which brings me to the really BIG change, possible pregnancy and parenthood. This will definitely be the biggest change of my life. I've been preparing myself for pregnancy this month by going to the dentist and the doctor. Of course I've already been taking the prenatal vitamins.

Why go to the dentist? Because apparently dental health is extremely important during pregnancy. A toothache could set off pre-term labor contractions. So can dehydration and holding your pee because it could cause urinary tract infection. I also went to the doctor to get my pap smear for the first time ever in my life.

All I can say is, "LORD, have mercy."

I usually start the new year with renewed energy and excitement for life. But not this year. I feel physically tired, spiritually dry, emotionally worn out, and mentally unable to think. I'm not sure why and am unable to think it through.

While waiting for Kate's friends, Jackie and Michelle, to join her at Borders this past Sunday, I finally purchased the latest U2 cd, "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb". It was on sale but still pricey because it comes with a dvd. I also purchased a book, "Reaching for the Invisible God" by Philip Yancey, and a cd, "Furthermore" by Jars of Clay, at the Calvary Chapel Bookstore.

Today after work, I listened to both cds. It's been a long time since I just lay there and listened to music as the primary activity. It felt good. Good music is experienced not just listened to. While listening to U2, I experienced freedom and felt humbled by my inadequacy. While listening to Jars of Clay, I experienced God's presence and a desire to love Him more.

"I want to fall in love with You."

All this rain is finally getting to me. At first I was glad for the rain because we probably needed it, but now it's just depressing. I wonder if God is crying. We've been on inclement weather schedule at school which means I have the kids with me practically all day except during my shortened lunch period. I wonder if they get sick of me or if I get on their nerves.

My next door neighbor at work is going through a very difficult time. Her mom passed away on Christmas. I attended the funeral on New Year's Eve. Thankfully the rain stopped for few hours during the funeral and burial. I ache for her loss from my own loss. What a solemn way to begin the new year.