I'm so glad that it's Friday, but the weekend unfortunately does not promise any rest or relaxation. My parents are flying into LA to meet Erik's parents for the first time. Of course, we will also have to show them around a little. Erik and I also have our final premarital counseling and a wedding to attend. Then there is also the planning and grading that I need to do for work. I wish I could look at all these things as being fun but instead they are just things that need to be done. Sigh...

This past weekend was the girls' weekend out for Erik's family members. We had two bridal showers in one weekend, one for Fay (Erik's cousin's fiancee) on Saturday and one for me on Sunday. Originally our bridal showers were planned for the same day within one hour of each other so I changed mine to Sunday to give all of us a momentary break.

Hoa, Li-Li, Lien, Kate, and I drove down to Irvine together for Fay's shower. It rained the whole day so it took us awhile to get there. While passing Santa Ana, we decided that we would have dinner in Little Saigon on our way back. The shower was in full swing when we arrived and we were the last ones to eat while everyone else began playing the games. Then Fay opened her numerous gifts. She received many lingeries and few items that were on her registry. Her friends were really young since Fay is still finishing off her last year in college herself. After helping to clean up, our menagerie went off to the South Coast Plaza to settle our stomachs before heading back up to Santa Ana for dinner. Having rained all day, the mall was packed with a crowd of people as if it were the day before Christmas. We soon got tired after hitting only three stores and decided we were ready for dinner. Lien took us to this restaurant called Quan Hy on Bolsa. I tried this appetizer that had shrimp flakes on top of a chilled rice pudding in tiny plates that were delicious. Kate ate thirteen of those appetizers as her dinner. Afterwards, we walked across the street to a dessert store and bought three different kinds of dessert. Then we drove to Lee's Sandwiches for other varieties of dessert. That's women for ya.

The next day was my bridal shower hosted by Jesga and Susan. I went early with Susan. Half of the people there were Erik's family members whom I had seen the day before. They were one of the first ones to arrive and filled up the stamping room, stamping the recipes they brought and making thank you cards for me to mail out later. They were very creative for first timer stampers. It was great seeing some friends whom I hadn't seen in awhile. I couldn't help but notice the many diamond rings that were present with all the recent marriages we've had in the past year. We were definitely an older crowd than the day before. We played three games. One was where everyone was given a laundry pin with purple bows on it and everytime someone said the words "Lauren", "Erik", "bride", or "wedding", someone else took away their laundry pin. Hoa was exceptionally keen with this game and won. Another game was having people answer questions about me after watching me carry a tray of jewelry. It was funny because everyone paid more attention to the jewelry tray than me and could not remember what I was wearing. For the last game, Susan pre-videotaped Erik answering some questions and I had to answer the same questions to see if our answers were the same. Each time I answered the question differently someone got a prize. If I answered the question the same, I would receive a Hershey's Kiss to exchange later with Erik. I enjoyed the games a lot more than I had imagined and received many great gifts. It helped too that Jesga has a cute Lhasa Apso, Roughy, who shared the day's attention with me.

Last Friday it thunderstormed while we were still in school. It hardly ever thunderstorms in Los Angeles so my students were unnerved by the lightning and thunder. It doesn't help that my class is a bungalow, unattached to the main school building. We could feel the ground shaking when it thundered and my students thought it was an earthquake and hid under their desks. I had to keep telling them it was a thunderstorm and not an earthquake. Some of them still did not believe me and hid under the desk with each thundering. One girl said that she wished that she was already with God in heaven. Another girl had to go to the bathroom during the storm and came back bawling from fright. In the midst of all this chaos I was trying to teach them math but I bet they won't remember anything on Monday.

I became consciously aware of the fact that I have been operating from the point of fear and negativity these days and have decided to stop it. What I mean is that I have been using fear and anxiety to motivate me to get things done for teaching and for the wedding. There must be better ways of being productive and getting things done. From now on I am going to stop worrying about not getting things done on time or trying to impress other people. It is just not worth it. I'm not sure what the opposite would mean yet though. Maybe thinking that I will get things done and then do it? I guess just having peace with God and with myself as I am making decisions?

This past weekend was an emotional one.

It started on Friday when my student whose mother has been fighting leukemia all year was pulled out of school unexpectedly in the middle of the day and I knew that it could only mean bad news. Thankfully she is still alive but my student was an emotional mess when he came to school this morning and had to leave early again due to fever and headache or heartache is more like it. I can't help but feel for this kid since I know how it feels to have your mom go in and out of hospital and even pass away. I just let myself cry for him as I was drying off after a shower on Friday. Then Erik and I were off to LAX for our red eye flight to Chicago. I konked out even before the take off and slept the entire ride.

We arrived at 5:30AM, drove to my step-brother's house, took a three hour nap, and went to my wedding hair and make-up trial appointment at Mario Troccoci. Erik met up with Scott and went to a tux rental shop. Although the make-up artist used natural shades, they did not recognize me right away when they came to pick me up. Then we had lunch at a Japanese restaurant owned by Thai people where we had a long conversation about gay marriages among other things. I took another nap after lunch and then Erik and I spent our Valentines Day evening with my mom, dad, their pastor, and his wife at a Korean restaurant. My dad really wanted us to meet his pastor before he participated in our wedding ceremony. I was very amused by the pastor's wife who was much more animated and opinionated than I had expected.

On Sunday, we attended sunday service at the church where we will be getting married. I really enjoyed the liturgical style of worship with hymns and choral congregational readings. The message was strangely enough about issues regarding homosexuality and its effects on the future of the church. I liked the pastor much more after hearing his message because I could tell that he was not an obstinate, judgmental Christian. They also had times of sharing out loud since the size of the congregation was small and more intimate. While waiting for our second meeting with the pastor, one of the members came up to us and began talking to Erik. As soon as he found out that Erik was born in Vietnam, he went off on U.S. and Vietnam history as well as current international policy. Then we met with the pastor and discussed the results of the compatibility test we took during our first meeting. We scored very high on communication except for in the area of finance. He recommended that we draw up a living will and a will as soon as we get married. Who knew?

I got to spend some time with friends and family the rest of the day which was nice. The best part was hanging out in front of the fire place, listening to Chopin preludes, and talking to the people I love. Scott came up with new dance moves from volleyball - digging, setting, and spiking. I cannot describe it in words but if you are coming to our wedding you can see it and be entertained. I got updates on the happening in the family and Erik also got to experience some of our family dysfunctionality during this weekend trip.

Yesterday we had a real lock down at our school because of a suspicious automobile nearby. This happened 10 minutes before dismissal and we had to keep the students in the classrooms until the LAPD gave us an "all clear". We could hear the police helicopter circling above near our school. No one told us any specifics of yesterday's event but we were required to send out letters today to parents so our class had a little discussion about it. Then one of the students raised his hands and shared what he had heard from his dad whose business was apparently shut down due to the same suspicious automobile. The police suspected that the car might have a bomb and called in the bomb squad. Nothing exploded so I'm not sure what exactly happened. What an exciting day at work, eh?

Here are some verses that have been coming to mind recently for me.

"Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." - Mark 4:18-19

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:33-34

Working and planning a wedding takes up a lot of time and energy. I worry about not getting things done which causes unnecessary stress. It's a good thing that I really love Erik and want to marry him. The idea of being able to celebrate the beginning of our new family with friends and family members in the presence of God is also a good motivator.

I had the second round of parent teacher conferences last week. It was a lot of work too but just a few parents' show of gratitude really encouraged me. It's nice to know that they trust and appreciate what I do.

God, please help me to keep my focus on you and don't let your word choke to death. Amen.